Today I had an ultrasound of my uterus as part as the evaluation for a hysterectomy. It was difficult to endure. I find the procedure extremely violating, so I deliberately try to disassociate in such situations. I wasn’t able do so this time, so I was pretty anxious for the duration. To make matters worse, the technician was pretty brutal, so it was more painful than the ones I’ve had in the past. She pushed and poked the wand around inside me, roughly jerking it this way and that, and it hurt.
It is terribly devastating and degrading to be completely exposed and penetrated where you are the most vulnerable. It is horribly violating to have your core invaded and pain inflicted INSIDE your body.
I am not saying the ultrasound was even remotely that traumatic, but it was certainly invasive. I wanted to punch her when she was finished.